Good morning, dear reader. I’d like to begin by thanking everyone for their overwhelming support since I started blogging again. I deeply appreciate all the kind words that I have received. It’s very comforting to know that – even in the midst of the frustrations that life and continued treatments are throwing my way – there are friends who will lend an ear or a shoulder when needed.
Then last night I found the seedy underbelly of the blogging experience. The following comment was attached to my previous post (Echoes):
bryan-i’ll bet none of your doctors ever taught you how to fight cancer with food. no chemo, rad, or other drugs are needed. please consider contacting me. i teach my patients how to prevent/reverse cancer and other chronic diseases and think i can be of benefit to you and your family. [phone number redacted] dr. gbh
Additionally, the gentleman who posted this comment supplied his full name, telephone number, and e-mail address. We’ll get to those in a bit.
Oh, where to begin?
First – and let’s start with the obvious – the commenter refers to himself as “Doctor.” No, wait, sorry, he refers to himself as “dr.” Anyway, if he is to be believed, then that supposes he completed medical school. Which presupposes he completed college. Which presupposes he completed high school. Which – I would hope – presupposes that someone somewhere taught him what majuscules are. And how to use them to not make yourself look like an idiot. I know that text-speak is the cool lingidy with the kiddos these days, but do u rlly want a doc hoo t4lks lik dis? Yeah, that’s gr8.
Second, this comment was obviously made by someone who hasn’t ever read my blog before. Otherwise, he would have know that I’m currently cancer free and that the only surgeries I have left are reconstructive. Could he be suggesting that I can regrow my tongue simply by choosing the appropriate diet? What is this, The Peanut Butter Solution for Cancer Patients1?
Third – wherein we begin to reach the true meat of my irritation – this man is obviously selling something. And he doesn’t expect me to notice. He is a predator who targets the emotionally vulnerable with hucksterism and mountebankery. Am I contending that diet is not an important part of dealing with cancer? Not at all. In fact, I used to joke that I would never get cancer because of the amount of hot sauce that I eat. You see, there are scientific studies linking the intake of capsaicin (the organic compound that makes peppers spicy) to a decrease in prostate and colon cancer in men. I put hot sauce in almost everything, so I hoped it would just clean me out entirely. But there is one important distinction. Those were scientific studies. The good doctor references no scientific research, doesn’t name the hospital or clinic where he works, nor provides any credentials of any sort. And his email address ends with “@hotmail.com.” Seriously? I’m supposed to take you seriously? But I’m afraid that there may be people who do, and who do so to their detriment.
I don’t want to be misunderstood here. I’m not advocating a complete rejection of alternative medicine or modes of treatment. I personally enjoy chiropractic and acupuncture. I find them relaxing. But I wouldn’t go to a chiropractor with a broken bone nor to an acupuncturist with appendicitis. Let me explain2:
Alternative medicine has, by definition, either not been proved to work or been proved not to work. You know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proved to work?
Medicine.
I’m not denying that there is a place for holistic treatments in the pantheon of modern medicine. But I do believe that such treatments are only part of a viable treatment regimen. To contend otherwise is short-sighted and destructive. There are times in any treatment where the invasive practices of surgery and chemotherapy and radiation become necessary. They were necessary in my case. If I had ignored that necessity, I would be dead now. But charlatans don’t care for that kind of detail. They’re only interested in making a buck. Snake oil, hair tonic, homeopathy (no, water doesn’t have memory, but thank you), and John Edward are no substitute for a real treatment.
So, doc, I shan’t be contacting you anytime soon. I hope no one else does, either.
Until next time, dear friends, be good to each other. And don’t try to sell each other a bag of tricks to solve a difficult problem – physical, emotional, or otherwise. Those just compound the problem.
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1 – Serious bonus points will be awarded to anyone who understands that reference.
2 – OK, I’ll let British comedian/musician/poet Tim Minchin explain it, since I’m borrowing from his fantastic 10-minute beat poem Storm. Fair warning, the poem does contain harsh language.
