Something unsettling has occurred to me. If I do not learn the location of the factory where my liquid nutrition is manufactured, my odds of survivi
ng the zombie apocalypse decrease dramatically. I can deal with the need to scavenge for clothes, ammunition, and contact lens solution (screw it, I’ll wear my glasses; they’re dead sexy), but trying to scrounge up sustenance with a sufficient number of calories and amount of protein that can be safely injected through a stomach tube could be difficult.
The obvious answer is that I “refine” my usage numbers of the stuff sent to me so that the insurance company fills the order more often. Stockpiling is good, I suppose. But that might take too long. Plus, I’m not sure how long the zombie apocalypse will last. Will it be a Night of the Living Dead or a 28 Days Later kind of thing? And I’m going to need teeth eventually, anyway.
Ok, that’s it. The zombie apocalypse is simply not allowed to occur until I have teeth again. So let’s put that on the schedule for a date no earlier than Halloween. That work for everyone else? Good.
