This has been a day of interesting developments and sensations; they have been a mixture of reassuring and uncomfortable. First off, I’ve started to increase my caloric intake. The 375 mL feedings four times a day have proved to be a bit on the insufficient side for keeping my weight up and body happy. I’d already augmented my intake with liquid vitamins and flax seed oil, but today I added soy milk. Since it’s basically healthy all around, I decided it couldn’t hurt. Not only did I add it by way of the feeding tube, I also drank some like a normal human being. OK, like a normal human being with a drinking problem (because I can’t swallow properly, not what you were thinking just then). It took longer than it should have, and the sips had to be smaller than normal, but it worked. If I keep exercising the muscles, hopefully I’ll get the new motion down soon so that I can at least try to blend in at a social function (all those wild parties I’m hobbling to, I know).
Over the next week, I plan on trying other liquids of various viscosities to see what is easiest and what I can still taste. The soy milk is vanilla flavored, and I could catch the sweetness of the vanilla at the back of my mouth. Previously, I had sampled coffee, sweet tea, and Coca-Cola; each of those I could taste (with coffee being notably the strongest flavor) along the sides of my mouth. It will be interesting to see which flavors I can still detect. Of course, to be truly accurate, I’d need to run a series of tests that compensate for my sense of smell. My supposition would be that, without doing so, it would be impossible to determine accurately which flavors I can still actually taste and which are psychosomatic echoes of the flavors that I remember. The marked likelihood of the latter option being the majority player doesn’t particularly thrill me; a consequence would probably be that, by the age of 75, everything will taste rather like chicken. Or air. Awesome; I love me some air.
As for the uncomfortable developments for the day, one of the natural side effects of the surgeries that I have undergone is bruising of the mandibular and other nearby nerves. There has been some vague, wandering numbness for the past couple of weeks that has affected primarily the left side of my jaw, throat, and – to a lesser extent – shoulder and upper chest. For example, on the left underside of my jaw, I could detect pressure, but not really the sensation associated with it. Well, as of today, the numbness is beginning to fade. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great thing. Here’s the rub – until today, I knew on an intellectual level that part of the surgery had involved breaking my jaw at the chin. As of today, I can tell that they broke by jaw at the chin. The doctor mentioned yesterday that the healing of the break is a six-week process, but that information didn’t really register at the time. This morning, however, I realized that that’s still four weeks away. Great. Wonderful. So, my jaw is throbbing, and the painkillers I’ve been prescribed, while helpful, do little more than dull the pain slightly. The ache never really goes away.
So, it’s been a day of trade-offs. I can taste vanilla, but my jaw hurts like hell. The flexibilty exercises are helping, by doing them requires moving muscles that are tragically close to my jaw. The give and take of convalescence is not something that particularly agrees with me, it seems.
Other than that, nothing new to report. More housework today, a little writing, and a couple of visitors (thanks for stopping by, gents; it was good to see you). I hope all is well with you in the outside world. I’ll keep you posted on any new developments. On a note about the blog, I would like to say thank you for the overwhelming response to the “Love Letter to Cancer.” I’m working on another piece that’s more philosophical than these daily updates, and hopefully I’ll have it posted soon.
Until then, take care of each other.
Amen and blessed be.
