Day Two has been good. Yes, the realizations about the new reality are still pressing, but I’m actually managing to relax a bit. I’m not overly worried, and I’m trying to allow myself to adapt gradually (but, hell, I’m stubborn, so quickly, too) to everything. I noticed this morning that some of the swelling had – for me – noticeably declined. This was a first. Over the past week, many others have commented that “the swelling is better,” or words to that extent, but this was the first time that I could actually feel it. Plus, the exercises that I’ve been assigned are – very gradually – getting easier. It’s good to notice even the slightest increase in flexibility of movement.
I took a shower today, too. I know, I know; doesn’t sound like much, does it? Well, it was the first one I’d taken since getting home from the hospital, so to me it was a big deal. I’m still not too polished on the revised bathing procedures. It seems that one cannot luxuriate in the shower – as one may be wont – with trach and PEG tubes offering points of ingress to all that water. But these things aren’t permanent (at least, that’s the word so far), so I’ll just add “taking a real shower” to the list of things to which I’m looking forward over the next six months. Also on the list – an honest-to-god bath, cheeseburgers (and steak, and sushi, and pretty much anything that I would have to chew), walking more than a couple hundred meters without a cane, regaining some weight, etc. I’m sure this list will continue to grow; it’s good to have goals.
For “lunch” today, I used one of the gravity feed bags that I was given; I wanted to see if there was a noticeable difference in the experience between using that system and using the 60 mL syringes that we’ve been using to push the Choco-Vanilla Liquid Yummy Good-food (plus fiber) directly into the stomach tube that was installed last week. Major difference number one – the gravity bag takes too damn long. It took about 45 minutes for me to “ingest” my required 375 mL of sustenance. Using the syringe, and just pushing it manually, it takes about 15 minutes. Much more manageable, I think, especially since I have to “eat” four times a day. On a related note, I have a question – what is the point of flavoring a liquid product that will be directly injected into someone’s stomach? I mean, at this point, when I burp I get this vague hint of chocolate, but that’s about it. Just one of those things that made me curious.
I also sat down at the piano today for the first time in weeks. I discovered there’s a new song at my fingertips as I started improvising around a melody that had been wandering through my head for I-don’t-know-how-long. I’m thinking about putting together an album of sorts. Another goal, this one creative. If I can’t speak my mind, perhaps my fingers can sing it for me. Look forward to that in the weeks to come. I’ll put out some preview tracks as they become available. Maybe I’ll sell the thing when it’s finished; who knows?
I’ve received a number of questions about what exactly happened while I was in surgery, so I figure this is as good a time as any to give a description of all the procedures. Apparently, the whole series took about 14 or 15 hours, but I was asleep, so don’t ask me. It started off with an oral surgery team removing most of my teeth. I have ten left, all up top, from the front back to the premolars. After that team was finished, the rest of the gang got in on the action. Using a series of incisions – the first starting behind my left ear and extending about 32 cm across my throat to just shy of the right corner of my jaw, the second drawing from my lower lip downward to meet the first – and then (I assume) by cutting through the front of my jaw, they opened me up rather like the Predator. Yeah, but back when
the Predator was cool – none of this AVP crap. After opening everything up so that we were all nice and friendly, a full glossectomy was performed; basically, the entire forward portion of my tongue (forward from – I’m approximating – about where my rearmost molars used to be) was removed. The doctors had hoped that such a drastic measure would not be necessary, that part of the tissue could be salvaged, but that proved to be impossible. Unfortunate, I know, but many people have dealt with worse. To replace this tissue, some muscle tissue from my left leg was borrowed (ooh, goody, I’ll get to shave my “tongue” in a few weeks!). There is now a 30 cm incision that runs from the front of my left hip almost to my knee showing where the tissue originated. This tissue was used to replace the tongue and some of the soft tissue that was removed from the left side of my neck when some lymph nodes were removed to help insure that the cancer would/could not metastasize.
At some point along the way, a tube called a PEG (don’t remember what it stands for, sorry) was inserted into my stomach to allow feeding. It’s festive, a twelve inch (or so – not going to self-aggrandize and contend that I have a good method of comparison handy) tube that always seems to be in the way. I’ve found a couple of good ways of using medical tape to keep it secure, but it always manages to fall after a while. And, I have been reminded, since I’m a bit on the hirsute side, I’ve ruled out the use of duck tape (or, duct tape, if you prefer, you sily puritans).
So, what else to expect? I don’t know. I’ll let you know when things come up. Feel free to ask questions in the comments section. I don’t really see a reason to censor myself at this point – though knowing the crazy circle of friends that I have, I’m sure it won’t take too long for one of you to surprise me.
For tomorrow – another update and funny hospital stories (how else do I get to talk about Christian Bale and sponge baths in the same paragraph?). I really need to write those down before I forget them all. Until then, take care, friends.
